The Pig Award

There were other interesting exploits of the treasure hunting variety. One coworker (who shall remain nameless until his identity can be released, but who nevertheless tells the story on himself) earned a reputation as quite the lothario. A practitioner of the erotic arts, a connoisseur of the gentle sex, a frequent chaser of the loose panty elastic, a…well you get the idea. He wasn’t the only one.

In fact, there had to have been at least a dozen lads who were prolific dabblers in the trade, and it turned out (perhaps not surprisingly) that sometimes their standards weren’t as high as they might have set out, and occasionally they would cut one out of the herd near closing time, who in the light of the following day, wasn’t quite the prize they had judged the night before. Almost always this was a result of alcohol involvement, but one couldn’t rule out the odd instance of desperation. The only downside of the occasional lack of discretion was being caught while in the company of someone who didn’t fit the usual profile of acceptable partners (two legs, two arms, most teeth, reasonable grooming, etc.).

Sadly, there were enough of these inadvertent revelations to warrant the formation of a society, the symbol of which was the Pig Award. Again, I wasn’t there by the time the charter was instituted, but in any event, I was married by that time and personally ineligible. The standards for endowment were A) let down one’s personal standard guard, for whatever reason, in order to taste the forbidden fruit of an evening, and 2) get caught, usually by a fellow deviant plying the identical trade. At the earliest opportunity, the symbol of the society was installed at the top of one’s locker for all to see. It was against all ethical standards of the society to either deny the facts of the award, or to decline to fully disclose the circumstances—as many times as necessary.

It came to pass that a not unattractive young lady came on board (although a relatively rare event in the ‘60s, by the ‘70s was becoming increasingly common), and being single enjoyed no lack of attention from the great unwashed. She eventually shared an intimate interlude with the subject of our story, and somehow, Element Two of the criteria was satisfied. In accordance with the charter, the following day the Pig Award was duly bestowed…at the top of her locker.

Last updated: 02 September 2018